As a mother, especially a first time mother, birth is extremely scary. And it is completely unnecessary to shame a mother on how she decides to give birth. If a person is related, a friend, an in-law, your opinion does not need to be given. Unless you are ASKED. How a mother should give birth is between her, her partner, and her doctor.
I was induced at 39 weeks because I chose to. There was no medically inclined reason. I just felt it was time and honestly I just wanted to be done. And I don't regret it one bit. Because had I not gotten induced and had I waited one more week or waited to go into labor naturally, my daughter would have died.
I had a horrible first pregnancy. Constant all day vomiting and nausea. Not to mention the lovely little PUPPPs rash that came on at 25 weeks. For those that don't know what PUPPPs is, it is an itchy bumpy rash that start's in stretch marks in your abdomen and quickly spreads to other parts of your body. I had it from my knees to my upper back. It was torture. I barely slept maybe two hours a night, dragging myself to the bathtub just to get a few seconds of relief from the constant itch.
So when my doctor said I could get induced at 39 weeks I freaking jumped on it.
From what I remember from that day (given it was 5 years ago) I had to be at the hospital at 7 a.m. I was checked in and taken straight to a delivery room. I was administered an IV and had two belts pulled over my belly, one that would monitor the baby's heart beat and another that would track my contractions. I'm sure it's uncomfortable with normal pregnancies but it was extremely bad for me with the rash I had.
Luckily I had a "favorable cervix" already so they started me on the Pitocin right away. The contractions were manageable at first. I did get an epidural at 4 centimeters at the encouragement of the technician, just in case she wouldn't be able to come before it was too late to get it. I kinda feel like I was pressured early to get it. People say getting the needle down your back for an epidural is worse than the contractions or the pushing. Based on my experience I disagree.
It took 12 hours of contractions and 28 minutes of pushing to give birth to my daughter. I probably could've started pushing sooner but because the nurses were switching shifts soon, my nurse at the time really didn't want to deliver my baby. I told her I felt like it was time to start pushing. She asked me if I was absolutely sure. Ok, I'm a first time mom so the way she was asking me made me feel unsure of myself. I have never been through labor before, how was I supposed to know? And because I hesitated she said that it wasn't time and that I would know for sure when it was time. That was a crock of shit.
My next nurse that came in after the shift switch literally walked in, introduced herself, took a look at my vitals and chart, and said let's start pushing. This was maybe an hour after I had told the previous nurse if I could start pushing originally, if that.
So I started pushing at 7 p.m. I honestly don't remember if my OBGYN was there when I started pushing. I had not even seen the guy all day. My mom was on my right side holding one leg up, my husband on the other. I don't think he planned to be helping as much as he did. I think he thought he was going to be closer to my head the whole time. Let's all laugh together at that idea.
Twenty-Eight minutes. Twenty-eight minutes that just flew by. I can honestly say I don't even remember the pain of pushing. I do remember with such clarity that I was pissed off at my mother. Because she was screaming at me to push harder. I didn't realize at the time that she was screaming out of panic.
My mother always had a way of sounding irritated when she was actually scared. I didn't understand that at the time. So I was pissed at my mom for thinking I wasn't pushing with every strength I had. How dare she think I wasn't pushing as hard as I could. I didn't even realize that the doctor eventually had to cut me. Because my daughter couldn't breathe.
My husband cut the umbilical cord, something he said he wasn't going to do but as he has said about it "When the doctor tells you with that voice to do something you don't ask questions you just do it." After he was done with that, there were no screams. It didn't even register with me at first, that she hadn't made a sound yet. They did place her on my belly for a quick second I have no idea why I didn't have my eyes open yet and it happened very quickly. I remember feeling her squirm like a little octopus on my stomach. So it still didn't register with me that it mattered that she hadn't cried yet.
I felt one awful horrifying second as it finally dawned on me that she might not be ok. And then she screamed. But that second was terrifying and I thought of so many things in that one second. Did I just go through 9 months of this horrible pregnancy and destroy my body to not get the sweet sweet daughter I had always wanted? But she screamed and she was fine.
My mom later described to me what she had looked like coming out of me. My daughter was gray. Mom made the joke later on that she thought my husband was going to walk out of the room because the baby didn't look Caucasian. Har Har Mom.
When the nurses took my daughter to the baby warmer and sucked out the gunk out of her nose and lungs, my mom said it was like the Wizard of Oz, the horse of a different color when she just started to pink up and finally breathe.
And the little stinker was 9 pounds. I am 5"2 and before my first pregnancy I was pretty petite and my little angel was a monster coming out of me. The freaking doctor had said two things apparently, "Woah big baby, big baby" and "That's a blow out." Thank you Dr. McDickhead for that.
My baby had gotten stuck and stopped breathing. I had to have I think 3 layers of stitching and what was called a 4th degree tear. My doctor later on told me that if I had waited another week, if she had gotten any bigger, she very well could of died.
You wanna know the first thing I was told after I had said I wanted to get induced? That I should wait another week because it was better for the baby. Yup.
Well, my instinct and a feeling in my gut told me otherwise. Was I awfully uncomfortable? Yes and it did play a part in my decision. But I also felt that it was TIME and I was ready. We are not always going to make the right decisions when it comes to parenting, there definitely will be times when we make mistakes. But I am incredibly glad that I made the decision that was best for me and ultimately became the best decision for my daughter to live.
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