Dear Parents, Stop Letting Your Daughter's Be Familiar With Older Men

It's not being talked about, not enough

I was just trying to scour the internet to find research to back my claims on this post. Do you know what I found? Testimonies of why women like to date older men, of course the term "daddy issues" was brought up a few times. A young girl having a negligent or completely absent father making her want to look for him in the men she dates. 

While it's a decent theory, it's not the only one. 

But yet, there was no articles on the effects of being around many different older men in a young girls childhood. At least not in the first 5 pages.

If anything I was seeing it glorified in how women look for older men because they are more settled in their lives. That is true but only if this attraction starts at adulthood. 

But what about the so many women that develop inappropriate feelings for older guys at a young age, even as young as ten. 

Why I think it's happening

I'm not a psychologist, I don't have even a fraction of a degree in that field. The only thing I have is a theory and it's based on my own life experience. So take it with a grain of salt but also think about it and maybe consider it.

When you're young and chatty, you want to talk to every one. Back in my generation stranger danger was still a thing but it wasn't as big of a concern. Especially when it's in a small town and all people my parents knew. 

However, even when you have not a shadow of a doubt that these men will touch your child. If they are not related to you, you should still not encourage private conversations with them. 

In my mind back then and maybe even in your child's this makes it seem totally okay to get attention from an older man. 

A child wants attention, mainly they want it from you. But a lot of times they'll enjoy it from anywhere. They shouldn't be getting it from just anywhere, though. 

The effect it had on me

As I grew older I matured physically and even though I had a body, I was not at the emotional and mental maturity to understand what it meant. At ten years old things just started growing, but I still had the mind of a child. My child mind told me attention was good.

Do you know what the term grooming means? 

It's befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes even the family of said child, to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse.

Grooming is a long game, it won't happen right away. It can happen years later. And when it does happen, a child or now teenager might be confused to knowing whether or not it was abuse. Because it came from a trusted individual who had always shown that they cared.

Always be wary

It's horrible that in this world we have to be constantly cautious of who our children are around. Even if you don't think this person will ever touch your child, there is still psychological damage that can occur with unsupervised conversations. I know even with family members it's not always safe either, but with the case of external factors you have the control to choose who they can and cannot talk to.