Swaddling

Connor Was Not A Fan

Swaddling, was a Godsend, but not at first. I was convinced my second child was not going to be a swaddler. We had no problems with my first when it came to swaddling her in a receiving blanket as soon as she came home from the hospital.

Photo by Luma Pimentel on Unsplash

Connor, on the other hand, was a kicker and a puncher. He would grunt and push until he broke out of his swaddle. He did it easily, too. No matter how tight we tried to make it. 

Turns out we just needed to put him in a straight jacket.

Just Kidding

It wasn't a straight jacket. It was the Halo Sleepsack. But it's pretty close.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

The hospital sent us one home with their logo on the front and I have no idea why we didn't just whip that baby out as soon as we got home. 

For some reason we were stupid and just tried to use receiving blankets. But when we did finally get our sleep-deprived heads out of our butts, we gave the Sleepsack a try.

We used one for Lily, so I have no idea why we waited so long. Maybe we were just delirious, who knows?

The velcro on the sack traps their little arms in so even the most ninja-like babies (Connor) cannot escape. 

Soon enough he was sleeping through the night when he wore it.

When It's Time To Stop

Unfortunately, we've reached the point where we can no longer swaddle Connor.

Photo by Filip Mroz on Unsplash

Once a child flips from back to front, it's time to put your dearly loved swaddle away.

We've had to put him down without it for over a week and surprisingly we've had little issues with him getting up at night.

Maybe he's used to sleeping through the night at this point so it's been a lot easier. 

I'm not sure, but I'm not going to question it.

Did your baby sleep well with the sleepsack?

Dear Parents, Stop Letting Your Daughter's Be Familiar With Older Men

It's not being talked about, not enough

I was just trying to scour the internet to find research to back my claims on this post. Do you know what I found? Testimonies of why women like to date older men, of course the term "daddy issues" was brought up a few times. A young girl having a negligent or completely absent father making her want to look for him in the men she dates. 

While it's a decent theory, it's not the only one. 

But yet, there was no articles on the effects of being around many different older men in a young girls childhood. At least not in the first 5 pages.

If anything I was seeing it glorified in how women look for older men because they are more settled in their lives. That is true but only if this attraction starts at adulthood. 

But what about the so many women that develop inappropriate feelings for older guys at a young age, even as young as ten. 

Why I think it's happening

I'm not a psychologist, I don't have even a fraction of a degree in that field. The only thing I have is a theory and it's based on my own life experience. So take it with a grain of salt but also think about it and maybe consider it.

When you're young and chatty, you want to talk to every one. Back in my generation stranger danger was still a thing but it wasn't as big of a concern. Especially when it's in a small town and all people my parents knew. 

However, even when you have not a shadow of a doubt that these men will touch your child. If they are not related to you, you should still not encourage private conversations with them. 

In my mind back then and maybe even in your child's this makes it seem totally okay to get attention from an older man. 

A child wants attention, mainly they want it from you. But a lot of times they'll enjoy it from anywhere. They shouldn't be getting it from just anywhere, though. 

The effect it had on me

As I grew older I matured physically and even though I had a body, I was not at the emotional and mental maturity to understand what it meant. At ten years old things just started growing, but I still had the mind of a child. My child mind told me attention was good.

Do you know what the term grooming means? 

It's befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes even the family of said child, to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse.

Grooming is a long game, it won't happen right away. It can happen years later. And when it does happen, a child or now teenager might be confused to knowing whether or not it was abuse. Because it came from a trusted individual who had always shown that they cared.

Always be wary

It's horrible that in this world we have to be constantly cautious of who our children are around. Even if you don't think this person will ever touch your child, there is still psychological damage that can occur with unsupervised conversations. I know even with family members it's not always safe either, but with the case of external factors you have the control to choose who they can and cannot talk to.  

Coming Soon: A New Blog

I'll Still Be Here

Don’t worry! I’m not going anywhere I promise. This blog will still be here, the same as always. Oriented on my own personal experience of child care, things you can do just for yourself, stay-at-home activities and crafts with your kids.  

I firmly believe we are all experts in something, except when it comes to being a parent. No one is an expert in being a parent. Everyone has a different situation and their own perspective. 

My blog is the insight to mine. 

And maybe my experience won’t apply or help you, but maybe it will. I’d love to hear yours as well.  

Now, just why am I creating a new blog then? 

I’ll get into that.  

Why I Started In The First Place

If you’ve been with me from the beginning. (October- So long ago) Like most of my friends and close family have been. Hi guys! 

You know I started this to get my practice in. To get my creative juices flowing. It’s been easier for me to write things from an honest and true perspective. My home life is my only life. I’m very passionate about my kids and keeping my own identity at the same time. 

It’s a hard thing to keep, when your someone’s wife, mother, daughter, sister. It’s easy to lose who you are in the process.  

So, starting this blog helped me regain my identity. Remember what I wanted before I was all of those things. Like I said in the beginning I have always dreamed of being a writer, being a mother was my biggest dream but why can’t I have it all? 

I wanted to start or finish one of the many ideas I was really passionate about putting to paper. 

I DID IT!

Well mission accomplished! 

In just a matter of six days I have written 20,000 words. That’s a quarter of the way done, for my novel at least. Some books are only 50,000 words but we’ll see how things go. Once I started on this, I wasn’t able to stop.  

Since it is fiction and has nothing to do with what I write about on here. I decided to create a whole other page for information on the coming book.  

Today’s technology has made it so easy to publish, now with a click of a button I can put this baby on Amazon as soon as I’m done. (I obviously won’t do that as it will possibly need some editing and cutting.) 

Thank you so much to my Beta-Readers and friends for helping me with this project. Thank you so much to my close family that has been and I hope will continue to be supportive on this journey!

Look out for Silent Flame. Hitting the internet shelves hopefully next Spring!

Modge Podge Wooden Letters

One super fun and easy creative outlet for me is making custom letters. You can do this for a nursery, wall decor, for any room really. I made mine for my son's nursery, wall decor for our living room, and our daughters room.

What You'll Need:

I got this from Hobby Lobby

• Modge Podge Glue (matte or gloss whatever you prefer)

• Sponge or regular brushes (I prefer sponge brushes, they apply more evenly)

• Assorted scrap book paper designs. Ones that will coordinate with each other.

• Wooden letters

• Scissors and Pencil (not necessary but an execto knife will help with detailing after)
• Paint if your painting the edges a certain color.

How To Start

There are multiple ways to do this but I choose to turn the scrap book paper over so the design is facing down and laying the letter upside down as well. Tracing on that side around the edges with a pencil. 

Make sure you line up the design on the scrap book paper to show the image you want on your letter.

If you're painting the edges of the letter do this now and then wait for it to dry before gluing the paper.

I don't like to have a border around the design but if you do when you cut, start at where you traced and then gradually cut away until you get the border you want. 

Tip: If you're using a scrapbook paper with words or phrases on it make sure they are small enough to actually be able to read it on the letter.

PS Tip: Use child scissors, they make curves and edges so much easier to get around! 

Start Modge Podging

As I've said before I prefer a sponge brush because it spreads evenly and this is very important when using modge podge. 

When using scrapbook paper it can bubble very easily underneath. You want to apply a very light thin layer of modge podge on the letter.

I do this in sections. Peeling backing the paper one section at a time and applying the glue before laying the paper on it.

And smooth smooth smooth your hand across it making sure it is flat and no bubbles. Wait at least 20 minutes for drying time before applying top coat. 

Also this is a perfect time to use your execto knife if you have one to turn the letter over and go over all the spots you might have not missed while cutting. Detailing these edges will make it look much more professional. 

Applying The Top Coat

You will probably need one or two coats of modge podge glue for this. You'll use the glue a little more liberally this time. You may see bubbles, this is normal and they will flatten out once it dries.

Go over it in one direction vertically or horizontally whatever you prefer. Slowly, it'll keep it from bubbling so much.

Wait at least 20 minutes.

Then go over it in the other direction the same as the first way.

When using matte modge podge it'll make it look like a nice canvas design.

You will need to wait for the glue to completely cure before hanging it on the wall. 24-48 hours after finishing.

Conclusion:

Finished project for my daughters
room.

This is a super fun easy hobby for anyone to learn. Trust me I have never been a crafty person but this was very easy for me to accomplish. This homemade craft is a perfect gift for Christmas, baby showers, wedding showers, etc. 

I plan on using this method to make coasters for my family at Christmas. Be sure to use dishwasher modge podge if you get the idea to do the same :)

If you want to see a step by step video tutorial here is the one I watched to get me started. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQoBbV5mA1I&t=184s

Finding The Right Formula: Trial and Error

Throw Your Expectations Out The Window

This is a general rule of thumb when you approach all aspects of parenting. But mainly today we'll be tackling your expectations of formula brands in this.

I don't know how it happened, but we are all convinced that a baby has to have either Enfamil or Similac brands. Mainly because they are used in hospitals and so we believe they are the best and healthiest options. 

That is not necessarily true. It is completely okay to buy off brand formulas. 

Over the past few months I've become adept in ingredient comparing. I've noticed there is little to no difference in off brand ingredients. 

Benefits To Brand Names

That being said there are benefits to using common brand name formulas.

1. They are available at more locations.
2. There are coupons available to offset the cost.
3. There are more feeding options i.e. powder form and ready-to-feed liquid.

Cons to Brands

1. The cost
2. The coupons are not unlimited and also a hassle because you have to remember them every time you go.

Benefits to Off Brand

1. The cost is significantly cheaper and store brands will run tons of sales on them.
2. Your baby might like them better - they are comparable to their brand name counter parts but they sometimes use different protein isolates in their "gentler" formulas. That difference might just be what your little one needs.
3. You'll get more value for your dollar when you buy the value sizes. For example $20 dollars for 33 oz of formula.

Cons to Off Brand

1. Only available at select locations for the store brand of your choosing.

Switching To A New Formula

You've decided to try a different brand. Whether it be because your baby seems uncomfortable with the one they're on or you've discovered just how expensive it can be having a formula fed baby.

There is no shame in looking for a cheaper option. Especially when there are cheaper and just as healthy solutions out there. 

Step One: Compare ingredients. If you're looking for a store brand formula that's close to if not exactly like a name brand compare ingredients to find a good match. There are better brands than others. Watch the sugar content in these formulas.

Step Two: Once you find the right one, slowly transition your baby to the new formula. For an easier transition start putting a 1/4 of the new formula in your babies bottle for a few days. 

Step Three: 1/2 of the new formula in the bottle.

Step Four: And lastly before making the complete switch 3/4 of new formula. Use the length of time for each step at your transgression. 

Switching Brands Regularly

If you still have your doubts on if you chose the right formula and want to continue to try different options.

Wait at least a few days before trying each one, it takes awhile for the last one to leave the baby's system which might be why he's still cranky. So don't give up on the new one yet.

If it's been a few days and you still believe there is a better option you can continue to transition to other formulas to find the best fit.

Are you worried because someone has told you it's better to not switch formulas because it can hurt a baby's tummy? 

There is an article I read by physician Dr. Shari Nethersole, a doctor at at Children's Hospital in Boston where she answers the question "Can an infant be given a variety of formulas?" To which her answer was:

"There is no medical reason why a healthy infant cannot take a variety of infant formulas, but there are a few issues to consider."

She goes on to explain that it is more of an issue on the baby refusing to take a certain formula because of the differences in taste. Or in the case of a baby with a lactose intolerance or milk allergy.


Read full article here: https://www.familyeducation.com/life/formula/can-infant-be-given-variety-formulas

There's another article by Wendy Sue Swanson, MD on the blog Seattle Mama Doc. She said something very interesting that stuck with me: 

"Think of it this way: babies who are breast-fed have a slightly different milk each and every meal due to mom's variant diet. Although fat, calories, and protein count remain constant, flavor and variety changes. A slightly different recipe at every feed." 

Read full article here: https://seattlemamadoc.seattlechildrens.org/mix-and-match-goldilocks-formula/

In My Own Experience

As I've said in previous posts my child was completely breastfed until I noticed growing discomfort; diarrhea, gas, trouble sleeping, and excessive spit up. 

At the advice of my doctor we had to eliminate dairy from my diet or I needed to stop breastfeeding and put him on a dairy free formula like soy or a hypoallergenic formula like alimentum/nutrimagen.

I was a wuss and couldn't stop eating dairy and decided to go with the soy since it was the cheaper option. I thought to myself no ones ever said soy isn't good for them. 

I will admit I was completely wrong. 

Either way it was a moot point since my son definitely had a soy allergy. I wrote all about my horrible urgent care visit with him in a previous post.

12.1 Ounces $25.98

We started him on alimentum and used Similac coupons that helped a ton. But if you've ever seen it in store. Hypoallergenic is so incredibly expensive. 

And even though he was no longer having diarrhea. I still was unconvinced that he had a legitimate milk allergy. That was just the first thing people think of when a baby was as uncomfortable as him. 

But he was still having awful spit up, I mean awful. It was always half of the bottle back up. I swear I smelled like baby puke every single day. 

He was sleeping just fine on the allimentum but I still wanted to try just a gentle formula but not necessarily hypoallergenic.

22.5 Ounces $28.99

So I thought I'd try Similac Pro-Total Comfort. And he's done fine on it, still no diarrhea, no excessive gas, sleeping 12 hours a night. Consistently.

I'll admit I've been lucky.

Except for his spit up. That was still horrible. We made an appointment for him and he definitely has re-flux. He is now on Zantac.

Now I don't know if it was the re-flux that always made him so uncomfortable really. And I didn't need to quit breastfeeding and he would've just been fine if I had known earlier. Now I'll never know. 

My baby is happy now so that's the most important thing. 

33.2 Ounces $20.99
Big Savings!

And since he was doing so well on the Pro-Total Comfort. I thought I'd take my savings one step further and try the Meijer Gentle store brand. I compared the ingredients and they are virtually very close. 

He's been on it for a week now and has still been an extremely happy baby. It's been a real improvement from the earlier months. 

Conclusion

It may take time and patience but you will find the formula that is best for your baby. 

Do your research, compare ingredients. There are better types than others. If you want to find cheaper options there is no shame in that. 

Also trust your gut, if you feel like your little one is uncomfortable because of their food, don't second guess yourself. 

Disclaimer: This article is to be used for general use only and based solely on my own personal experience . Do not use in place of medical consultation or advice. Always consult your doctor first on what they think is best for you or you child.

What formulas did you try before you found the right one?

Urgent Care: Not Recommended

Even a Familiar Urgent Care

At this time I was convinced my son had a milk allergy, and the doctor recommended to try Soy Formula.

He did great on it, saw an immediate difference in temperament.

Still spitting up a great deal, but he was no longer having constant diarrhea (which was the case on my breast)

Three weeks later.

I was changing his diaper when I noticed he was very blotchy all over in different areas. Around his belly button, under his chin, on his arms and legs.

I had never seen this before in my first child, especially something to come on so suddenly. 

I took him to Urgent Care. The very one I had worked at two years prior. I knew the doctors and they knew me so I thought I could trust them to not treat me how I had seen them treat others in the past. 

Well little did I know they had a new Nurse Practitioner. One who didn't know me.  

 I Told Her

I know how they see me. Doctors.

It drives me nuts, the way that they don't take patients (or advocates of patients) seriously anymore.

I understand there is a lot of overreacting and hypochondriac patients out there. 

But we put our trust in them. We put our lives in their hands.

We pay our insurance, who pays them. We pay the co-pays.

We deserve for our voice to be heard and respected.

I did not receive that respect there.

As nice as she was to Connor and me. I still felt like I was getting the brush off treatment. My concerns were not being heard. 

I had mentioned what formula he had been on and at that point I was having doubts that Soy was the right one. 

Even if he did have a milk allergy, more times than none babies will be allergic to Soy as well. 

Also I had read thousands of testimonies that it was not good for them. I'm pretty disappointed in my doctor for suggesting it, instead of the hypoallergenic formula or just one with partially broken down proteins like Similac Total Comfort or Enfamil Gentlease. 

My concerns fell on deaf ears at this Urgent Care. 

Misdiagnosis 

A heat rash. In September. 

This is what a heat rash or "prickly heat" looks like.

70 Degree weather in Michigan. 

And she had said it was a heat rash. 

I already had doubts when I left this place. I googled pictures of it and it wasn't even close to what Connor's looked like. 

I don't even know how she got her license with that bullshit diagnosis. 

My theory with her, and for most doctors lately, is they look for the easiest and simplest explanation. 

So when you're still having issues and you have to return to the doctor's office they can collect more insurance money.

I hate to think this way, to be cynical of the very people we trust to take care of us when we don't know how to take care of ourselves.

But I am fed up with the way the system has been lately.

Wait For Your Pediatrician 

Mine was not available that very day, but he would've been two days later. So instead of waiting for my doctor I took him to an Urgent Care and had to take him to our regular Pediatrician's office anyway.

So twice the bill.

Your pediatrician knows your baby. If your baby seems to be happy, I would wait for your regular doctor.

The rash did not affect my baby at all. He was still a happy baby all smiley. His skin just looked scary.

It also wasn't getting better with baths and loose clothing. It was definitely not a heat rash. It was getting increasingly worse.

Following advice on my sister who had said regardless of his crankiness on my breast milk it is healthier for him. I gave him my frozen breast milk I had been saving in the freezer. 

Immediately I saw improvement of his skin getting lighter again. By this point the rash had completely covered his chest and stomach but with the breast milk it was lessening in redness.

By the time I brought him into the pediatricians office, it was almost non-existent save for a few dots here in there.

I luckily took pictures of his rash since day one and was able to show him to the doctor. He took one look and knew it was hives and to get him off the Soy. 

He gave me samples of Alimentum, the hypoallergenic formula that has completely broken down proteins. These formulas are much more expensive $27 dollars for a 12 ounce can.

Even with coupons from the Similac Strong Mom's program it is extremely hard to afford. Eventually I discovered he didn't actually need it, thank God.

 I will go into that in my next post, Finding The Right Formula: Trial and Error. Make sure you read if you are also having problems making a formula decison.

Conclusion

You may find a decent Urgent Care with reliable doctors, but if your baby is acting fine then it probably isn't something serious and not worth risking horrible care and wasting your money.

Did you have a horrible Urgent Care Experience?